NJ Civil Unions

I'd been meaning to blog about this in the days leading up to yesterday's votes, but I've been scrambling to finish last-minute school stuff. It's a done deal: in a few short months, same-sex civil unions will be the law of the land in New Jersey. By a 23-12 vote in the Senate and a 56-19 vote in the Assembly, lawmakers passed measures guaranteeing equal treatment under the law for gay couples.

I couldn't be prouder. The fact that gay couples have been, until recently, denied the basic rights afforded to heterosexual couples, speaks ill of our culture and our society. Gay rights advocates have been waiting for days like yesterday for decades. Granting gay couples the same legal rights as straight couples is important to me for two reasons: first, the rights themselves. They are self-evidently important for gay couples. Second, it shows that our society, in certain places at least, is becoming more tolerant of people who have different lifestyles. Equality under the law has important meaning according to the letter of the law, but it carries a profound symbolic component, too.

Whatever one might think of homosexuality from a moral point of view, it's important to recognize that homosexuality is a permanent, immutable, human characteristic. And I believe the health of the gay community is at least partly dependent upon the degree to which society offers them a welcoming, accepting environment. The thought that homosexuals have spent decades hiding from view and meeting with one another in shame sickens me. When I see the ubiquitous gay couples on the subway I ride to the Bronx every day, they snuggle together in their seats the same way straight couples do. They hold each others' hands the same way I do with my wife. There isn't a hint of self-consciousness in the way they regard each other, and I can't even detect a subconscious fear in their faces that someone might be looking on with disapproving eyes. That's the way it ought to be for them everywhere.

Still, I think that the state-by-state approach to enacting civil unions is the way our society should proceed. Acceptance of homosexuality has had its ebbs and flows during the last 3,000 years, but during its brief history, America has been quite hostile to same-sex couples. I think much of the reaction against gay rights in the U.S. is largely the result of cultural inertia. Social change should not be thrust upon communities; they should choose to endorse the changes themselves. I think gay couples should have equal rights in all 50 states. But until majorities agree with that sentiment nationwide -- as they do today in New Jersey, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont -- it's best to keep the federal government out of the issue. This is a fight gay rights advocates should be able to win in any state.

As for gay marriage, well, that issue doesn't mean much of anything to me. Government is a guarantor of rights. Civil unions grant gay couples the status granted to straight couples under the law, which is what I care about. If your church wants to deny marriage ceremonies to same-sex couples, it's none of my business. I just won't attend your services.

UPDATE: Here's a link to a recent article by E.J. Graff, in which she takes stock of civil unions worldwide.